1. Troll 2
The fact that this movie is called “Troll 2” and has more to do with plant people than trolls, is only one of a long, long, long list of problem this film has. I swear, I saw better acting in my nephew school play. The plot is non-existent and seems to resemble more of a montage of moving images that a film per se.
2. Best of the Best 2
It was a photo finish between this and “Troll 2”, with “Troll 2” barely winning due to its more universal appeal. Best of the Best 2, however ticks all the boxes, I swear I laughed so hard some pee came out! Honestly, when he explains to his son, there is no shame in losing, I lost it!
3. Jaws the Revenge
Not only do they need a bigger boat but a bigger budget too.
4. Swamp Thing
I wonder with this movie, did anyone thinking during the making of it that they were making one of the worse comic book movies to date. Luckily, Swamp Thing was a F*cking terrible comic book to start with but it wasn’t as bad as the movie.
5. The Room
6. Battlefield Earth
If you’re a Scientologist or John Travolta you’ll like this film. Everyone else appreciates it for the wrong reasons.
7. Star Wars Holiday Special
You’ll never look at the wookies in the same way again, i can guarantee that. Be warned, if you’re a hardcore Star Wars fan, you might shed a few tears over Lucas’s depiction of our warrior friend.
8. Planet 9 from Outer Space
An Ed Wood movie was always going to get on the list.
9. Tango & Cash
Normally you’ve got one wild card cop and his straight laced uptight partner. It’s a dynamic that has worked throughout movie history (Riggs & Murtaught. Starsky & Hutch etc.). Not in Tango & Cash however, they are both wild cards and why wouldn’t you get rid of the straight lasted boring pen pusher. Why not double the action, who cares that the characters have changed in no way, whatsoever by the end of the film and essentially you’ve just stuck a series of random action scenes together.
Sylvester Stallone appears for the second time (almost appeared three times for “Stop or my Mum will Shoot”). When it is too dangerous for a swat team and the FBI, who do you call? Cobra….just Cobra!